Laugh

Kitty

i love it when i see your...

FACE DROP.
I told you not to leave me alone
and now that I got my own
I see your face drop
I told you not to count me out
'cause you always try to fill me with doubt
sayin that I look better if I was thinner
don't you know you shoulda loved me for my inner
when I left you, yo, I came out a winner....

and now I see your FACE DROP!

Honestly? Like I don't find it odd that you haven't talked with me in months, and all of a sudden after putting more recent pictures on my facebook, you call me? Like, what, I've been sitting waiting for you to contact me? WTF?!

I'm still the same girl, douche bag...

is love...alive?

I've been so lazy lately. Not in life, but with blogging. Instead of actually posting anything with substance, I just post pictures. Like that really sums up what's going on around me...?! So, what IS going on around me? Relationships are ending. Hearts are breaking and growing stronger with time. Backbones are forming. Minds are coming to anticipated conclusions. Fists are being thrown and making contact with faces (its ok to smile). Hearts are finally coming to a mutual agreement with gut feelings.

douche bags are finally finding the door, and Mia is locking it behind him and throwing away the key.

from sunrise to sunset

i hope you had the time of your life...

6.11.10. So Proud. It's YOUR day! xo

crumbling

"....And in between the moon and you
The angels get a better view
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
I walk in the air between the rain
Through myself and back again
Where? I don't know

And she walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land
Just like she's walking on a wire in the circus
She parks her car outside of my house
Takes her clothes off
Says she's close to understanding Jesus
She knows she's more than just a little misunderstood
She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous
Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping through my hands

She says "it's only in my head"
She says "Shhh I know it's only in my head"
But the girl on the car in the parking lot
Says "Man you should try to take a shot
Can't you see my walls are crumbling?"
Then she looks up at the building
Says she's thinking of jumping
She says she's tired of life
She must be tired of something
Round here she's always on my mind
Round here hey man got lots of time
Round here we're never sent to bed early
and nobody makes us wait
Round here we stay up very, very, very, very late
I can't see nothing.. nothing round here
Will you catch me if I'm falling
Will you catch me if I'm falling down on you

I said I'm under the gun around here
I'm innocent I'm under the gun around here
And I can't see nothing
Nothing round here....."

bits and pieces of Counting Crows "Round Here" for some odd reason... I relate to this song today.

Gravity

I had one of the best weekends of my life this past weekend. I was able to spend quality time with some awesome people. I was quickly reminded of how life is supposed to be lived.... I feel like I lost that at some point this past year. I also had an epiphany.. after evaluating my current self I realized how incredibly stupid someone must be to choose to not be apart of my life. I know that sounds incredibly self centered, and it really is. But I finally see how amazing I am, and how stupid someone else is. Sure I've said it to myself hundreds of times before, I've even gone as far as repeating it to others... but I always fell back into his gravity. But now, today, after recognizing how much I've changed both physically and emotionally I know it's true. To pass up the opportunity to be an important person in my life clearly shows your lack of intelligence.

I also realize that no matter how much I change, he will never be what I imagine him to be. It's not ME that needs to change, its not him either. I just cannot make him feel for me the way I always wanted/needed him to. That's ok, because in that realization, I see the beauty in letting go. Live and Let Die. I'm ready to let this "friendship-bullshit" fall apart, so that something wonderful and with purpose can fall together.

I know I claim to recognize this info every time I get frustrated with him, but this weekend after zero communication from my part and his, it clicked. Talking yesterday and today made me realize that there is nothing there, nothing will ever be there.

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

(bits and pieces of Sara Bareilles "Gravity")

"If opportunity doesn't knock... build a door." -Milton Berle