with or without you

I'm totally becoming that annoying friend that complains about the same shit every day to the same people. I take advice (the same advice) and think about it. I let it roll around in my heart and head for awhile and then make the same damn decisions, over and over and over again. I mean really, what the shit is it gonna take for me to "see the big picture" and drop the douche bag?

I love my friends for putting up with the same questions and same outcome. I am so in love with the fact that they 1. don't give up on the idea of me catching on 2. even if they are frustrated or extremely annoyed, they give solid sound advice as if its the first time hearing about it and 3. tell it to me straight with no bullshit in sight.

My Sister told me after seeing "He's Just Not That Into You," that it was a movie written for me. I own it, along with the book and even the female's version "Be Honest, You're Not That Into Him Either." (it's ok to laugh at the fact that I'm still clueless)

So here I am, hung up on the same guy that I've been trying to figure out since October. What is it about this particular person that keeps me on my toes? I've had a few serious relationships, I've dated, I've been single, my world has clearly been spinning since the moment I took my first breath. So why WHY WHY can't I come to the conclusion that I'm going to be just PERFECT with or without him? That my heart will keep on ticking, with or without him?

I'm laughing as I write this because here I am, wasting precious brain cells to write this blog, which will generate the same advice I received a month ago. God Bless you my friends, thank you for having the patience of a saint <3>

"With or Without You" - U2

Life and Lyrics

I don't know what it is, but I can pretty much find a song to fit every emotion/situation in my life. I don't know how to explain it, but everything about my life makes more sense when paired with a song. My current situation can be summed up by Fleetwood Mac's "Silver Springs." I am addicted and cannot stop listening to it. Obsessed to the point of making a cd in the AM so I can listen to it all the way to work, and once the coast is clear, listening to it via youtube. Yes, I have it playing right now, busted.

It's like, I can't handle anything in my life without having a song to express how I'm feeling, or what I'm experiencing. I know people say they love music, but this is like my oxygen. I suffocate when I don't have music surrounding me. I owe everything to the musicians that illustrate my life. I don't think they realize what an impact they have on people, even songs that are years before my time, hit home on a whole other level.

Maybe I use it to drown out my own thoughts?

"You could be my silver spring
Blue-green..colors flashin'
I would be your only dream
Your shinin' autumn....ocean crashin'
Don't say that she's pretty....
and did you say that she loves you
Baby I don't wanna know

So I'll begin not to love you
Turn around, you'll see me runnin'
I'll say I loved you years ago
And tell myself you never loved me..No
Don't say that she's pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don't wanna know....Oh no
And can you tell me...was it worth it
Baby, I don't wanna know..

Time cast a spell on you...you won't forget me
I know I could've loved you but you would not let me

Time cast a spell on you...but you won't forget me
I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me
I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you"

heart of the matter

Ever since I was little, I've been in love with the Eagles. I've said numerous times that I would give anything to see them in concert..

Well, on May 13th at 8 PM I will be in attendance at the Key Arena to see the Eagles perform. I think I'm still in shock. I have loved them for so long, it's kind of surreal. If the concert is anything similar to their "Hell Freezes Over" tour, I will most likely cry tears of ridiculousness. The best part about this concert is I'm going with my Mom, Aunt Ween and Aunt Nikki. The four of us are guaranteed to be some sort of shit show frenzy.

I hope they sit on stools and perform like they do on the "Hell Freezes Over" DVD. Yes I have it, I cannot even count the number of times I've sat and watched it from start to finish. I literally have things memorized. (example) Like when Don Henley begins the first cord of Heart of the Matter he says "this took me 42 years to write and 5 minutes to sing." I can't help but fall in love every time I hear him say that.

If they perform any of the following, I will lose my shit:

• Heart of the Matter
• Learn to be Still
• Wasted Time
• Last Resort
• Life's Been Good
• New York Minute

Who am I kidding... I'm going to lose it the minute I hear the guitar intro to "Hotel California"

"Heart of the Matter" - Don Henley

MMHMM

So I have a new cd that I'm obsessed with, It's Relient K's 2004 release "MMHMM." I was introduced to the song "Which to bury; us or the hatchet" while listening to Pandora the other day and I was instantly in love. I decided to check out the entire cd to see if it was equally as moving. I can say, without a doubt, that it is.

Here is my list of favorites that I have on repeat:

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been- The lyrics to this song seriously made my heart do a somersault. I found an acoustic version of this song that just makes my world stand still every time I listen to it. Perfection.

The One I'm Waiting For- I can't even put into words how much I adore this song. I feel like it was written for me, no I'm not conceited or even overly confident. But when it says "and I'm still waiting for you to be the one I'm waiting for" I can't help but relate.

Which To Bury; Us or The Hatchet- BEST.BREAK-UP.SONG.EVER.

Let It All Out- "But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did- I will stare at you in disbelief- oh, inconsistent me- crying out for consistency.." I know, right?!

So those are my favs as of right now. I cannot wait to run out of this office in a hour and crank the volume up in my car and submerge myself in Relient K.