Monday, January 4, 2010

My heart is a fool...

"I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth, just there to fill the space
Cause now, you have no interest in anything that I have to say
I allowed you to make me feel....
I feel so dumb
What kind of fool am I?
You so easily set me aside..."

I've never felt so foolish in my life as I did this past NYE. I was dumped at a party by a guy I've been casually dating off and on for the past 7 months. I was his date, these were all his friends, I was alone, and embarrassed. The things he said were piercing. I am so pissed off and angry that I let him in. I realize it could have been a lot worse, but this was just shocking. I looked so dumb, I felt so used. It hurt. He's been a friend of mine for 3 years and treated me with such disrespect it left me stunned. I'm not hurt by the fact that he doesn't "like" me, I'm hurt that I lost a friend. Someone I've grown really close with over the past few months. I just feel dumb. Disgusted. 2010 started out with me being dumped.... can I get a do-over?!

Out of everything to remember, I remember only that. My beautiful memory blacked out the rest of the night except the part of him hurting me. My heart, my head, me...... just a fool.

"Fool of Me"- Me'Shell Ndegeocello

1 comment:

  1. alright... whose behind do I need to kick? seriously...

    ReplyDelete